Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Manners matter

It is a well-known saying that 'manners don't cost a thing' and this is very true, but although they may not cost a thing they have an awful lot of worth in my opinion.

One of the reasons my depression and anxiety attacks are triggered is because I long for an idyllic world, full of happy, healthy people that all get along, when in reality the world is a violent, unpredictable place. Life isn't perfect, that would be boring I know, but it means that the hopeful, optimistic part of my mind is constantly disappointed. And then I start to think, 'well if this one little thing could go wrong then what about all the other horrific things that could happen?!' and the dismal, fearful side of my mind runs riot with potential catastrophes. It's exhausting.

The logical part of my brain knows that it's a futile dream, wanting everyone in the world to be happy, but seeing sad people just breaks my heart. My mind creates tragic little back stories for them and it makes me want to cry. For this reason I try my hardest to be the most polite, cheery person to strangers in the street. I'm the kind of person that says sorry with a big smile when someone walks into me, even though it blatantly wasn't my fault. I always thanks bus drivers, even the grumpy ones... which is most of them! And I always say please and thank you.

The thing is, I know these little gestures might seem unimportant to some people, even I used to be a bit dismissive about being friendly to people I didn't even know, but more recently I have learnt firsthand what a difference politeness and cheeriness can make to a person's day.

This is all relevant right now as yesterday was a bad day.

I was crying my eyes out, I couldn't think straight or breath properly, all I wanted to do was rush home and cry myself to sleep... the bad thing? A woman was rude to me outside of Morrisons.

I know it's ridiculous and pathetic to let some stranger's offhand comment ruin my whole Monday, but I felt powerless. She called me an idiot for not getting out of her way, but I didn't even realise I was in her way!

I panicked more than anything, it was just so mean and rude. My mum just called her a 'sour-faced cow', apparently they're quite common in the posh little town of Wetherby.

I know I overreacted and not everyone is as sensitive as me, but the point is, the way you speak to people is important. You have no idea what kind of day they are having or what they are going through in their life and one kind word can make such a monumental difference to their day. Even more importantly, one rude word can ruin someone's day, it could be the last straw, the one thing that makes them decide that everything in life is rubbish. Bit dramatic I know, but still, if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all! 

I think if you see something in the world that you believe to be cruel, unjust and it is hurting other people then you have every right to fight it and argue why it is wrong, but if someone simply got in your way outside Morrisons, try not to bite their head off please.

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